Today is the first day of the rest of my life.  And I think it is going to be an absolutely wonderful journey.  I can’t remember the last time I was without my security blanket, and literally felt this good. But today I am taking a huge step forward and trusting God with everything.  He is going to help me be Tammy. 

On this journey, of being Tammy, I have to find out who Tammy is, and trusting myself to be Tammy.  I never thought much of myself; I thought I was ruined, or I wasn’t good enough. I have always wanted to be someone else; from the time I can remember. 

I now have faith that things will fall into place.  I have faith that I won’t have to worry about, my security blanket anymore.  I am healthy, wealthy, and wise.   My kids are successful.  And I am happy, I am sharing Gods love and I am enjoying life.  I see myself doing what I love and not having to worry about the small stuff.  I smile as I am picturing myself in the 70’s era, with a Peace & Love attitude.  I see myself flittering around.  (I don’t even know what that means, better look it up). 

God has a plan for me.  I believe, I believe.  I truly believe.  The good Lord always takes care of me, but sometimes I forget, I start to worry and try to make things happen myself.  I don’t let myself trust.  But I need not worry, for he will “make it happen” (you have to sing that last part like Mariah Carey) LOL. 

I am so looking forward to finding out whom Tammy really is, however; I am also a little scared, and even a little embarrassed. I was considering not using my own name in this article (I started out with me and I instead of Tammy).  But I have to believe that I am worth it, and I am not going to give up, I am going to keep on keeping on, have faith that all will be taken care. 

I know my God is a good God.

      Peace,

   Tammy

It’s Tuesday.  The kids are off to school, and my hubby’s out doing his thing.  This is my day.  I work part-time as an office manager, and we are closed on Tuesdays.   I love this.  I use this day to catch up on house work, or run errands usually.  

 But some Tuesdays I just want to enjoy the peace and quiet, or go to lunch with a friend.  I have even been known to watch a movie or two.  

Like today, I went back to bed for a while.  I tried to talk myself out of it by reminding myself how much there is to do.  I actually brought work home with me (like I don’t have enough around here to do).  But once I got into the bed with our kitty purring right next to me, I was out.  And it felt good. 
  

A few minutes after waking up however the guilt hit.  Look what time it is.  I don’t have much time to work now.  I have to pick the kids up in a couple hours, and so. 

Giving myself so much grief just because I felt like I needed more sleep, not even taking in to consideration that I was actually up half the night before because I couldn’t sleep.  And already this morning I did a sink full of dishes, got the ingredients ready for a recipe I am making for dinner, got the boys off to school, etc.   

Why do I do this?  Why can’t I just enjoy the day?  Why do I feel like I have to be doing something every minute or I am a failure?  This is one of things I need to figure out and will be working on this year.  To just enjoy my Tuesdays!  
 

Do you do this too?  What makes you feel guilty?  Have any helpful tips?  I would love to hear from you!

Written by Tammy J. Bray